| Cosmic Cataclysms |
[06 Jan 2009|12:27am] |
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mood |
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 pensive |
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music |
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Zero 7-"Speed Dial No. 2" |
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Is it strange
That at times
All I really want to do is be devoured by the sun
To become one with complete incompleteness
How many times has this dream of opulence
Enveloped reason and truth
All of these observations remain surmise
As vice becomes reality, becomes escapism
I remain product
Bought and sold
As a luxury good item
Your crimes, against my humanity
Love, is not lovelorn
Lust, is not bloodlust
We, though minor blips in this sea of creation
Become a point of interest
The perfect mix of sorrow and ecstasy
When your wandering eyes focus
Take note
Realize, that I've always been all you have needed
And that your search will always start and end with me.
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| La inquietud guardada |
[21 Dec 2008|12:32pm] |
I would be lying if I denied that this abyss of humanity has left me feeling like I am in solitary confinement. I wonder if my compliment was even created, or If I am the sock that was found when the pair was broken. Seconds become minutes become hours.
It is hard always being the bigger person, when sometimes all you want to do is dismantle people the way they've dismantled you. Maybe then I can try to pour the love you had for me back into your chest, but empires have crumbled, monuments have been erected, and an architect's hands cutoff, for this very reason. I sometimes wish we could sit silently next to one another for five minutes, let all the white noise settle. We could pretend it was some buddhist ritual, something that would bring us enlightenment. I want to let space and time bend around us into the love embrace of the universe.
I sometimes write love letters to myself and pretend they are from you, pretend that with every morsel of your being you have transfered your love into tangible and quantifiable lyrics in a letter. I wonder if in some parallel universe you are in my position and I in yours.
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[07 May 2008|08:25pm] |
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i'm still addicted and honestly nothing seems to lessen the cravings
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| i wonder who would play me, and more importantly who would play you |
[05 May 2008|02:26am] |
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mood |
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nostalgic |
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music |
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M83-"Teen Angst" |
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Two silhouetted figures stand on Eleanor Street
Orange light raining down on an almost solemn May night
The silence is cut by some neighbors drinking beer
He looks at me and demonstrates how easy riding a bike is
how freeing riding a bike is
how necessary riding a bike is
I'm scared
I am going to fall
I ask him to promise not to laugh at me when I fall
He says he will laugh because he would laugh at a five year old falling
I fall
He laughs
I lay on the asphalt
I stare into the orange glow
I knew this was bound to happen
I get up
He is determined
He is beautiful
His crooked smile and defined face always did slay me
I hesitate this time
I tell him I am scared
He said I need to stop thinking
But how does one rid them self of all these neurons firing
He says he is getting me ready for the next person
A metaphor for who is to come?
I beg him not to make me do it again
He says its so beautiful to ride a bike
A man rides past us effortlessly
Insult to injury
I look into his eyes
I give him the puppy dog kind of eyes that I have mastered in my 22 years of life
He straddles the bike
He speaks but everything is silent
Everything is silent
And all I can do is think of the history that lives inside the both of us.
I truly love him
He warned me when I arrived at his house
that a lot of the things I gave him were in his room
And that they were
Strewn across his deep gray walls
And pure wooden shelves
I'm with him even when I am not around
He tells me to try riding the bike one more time
I do
I balance longer this time
Still scared he will see me vulnerable again
He says I gave up
But I never really did
And secretly he is my first and last thought
-I promise to learn how to ride a bike by your birthday-
I laid in your bed
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[24 Mar 2008|11:18am] |
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music |
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Everything but the Girl-"Walking Wounded (Omni Trio Remix)" |
] |
So I get the following message and answered honestly:
Am I Your:
(1) Baby
(2) Best Friend
(3) Bitch
(4) Teddy Bear
(5) Crush
(6) Enemy
(7) Partner in Crime
(8) Homie
(9) Bootie Call
(10) Cutie
Sometimes when I am being a 1 (baby) and I 3 (bitch) about life I realize you are of my 2 (best friends) you will always be my 5 (Crush) because we used to be 7s (Partners in crime) [plus you do have a criminal record] and I know that no matter what I will always 11 (Love you immensely) because you are an amazing man.
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| It cut me down to the bone... |
[13 Mar 2008|07:06pm] |
...so I thought I would share it.
it was one of those songs that sounds so familiar but you have never heard.
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| de miel a temor. |
[05 Feb 2008|01:37am] |
algunas veces pienso en olvidarme de las historias que vuelan al oceano
encontrando paz en el sal de mar
cuantes veces me encuentro llorando en silencio
y huardando las palabras que nunca e podido dicir
yo se que no soy inocente, que este cuerpo se esconde para divorciarme de mi juventude robada
cuantes veces e cantado la misma cancion, triste y embarada de melencolia
se podiera sonar de un fin mas cinematico
pero todo vivido era de pelicula
no se que dicir, ni que sintir...
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| A New Proposito. |
[06 Jan 2008|02:11am] |
So today, I decided that my New Years Resolution is not to be afraid to be an artist and to let go of all of the negative things that have been attached to that concept.
After I graduate Pitzer College this year, I will apply to Art Center and truly refine the techniques and love I have developed for art. I will give myself over completely because its the only way I know to show someone that I love them.
My love affair with art has definitely blossomed, but it has always been in my blood, it is an ancestral right that has been passed down to me and flows freely through my being.
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| Perez Hilton |
[21 Dec 2007|02:39pm] |
So for the second time in my young adult life, I have been approached by a random stranger at a club and I have been asked if I am Perez Hilton. Last night when I said I wasn't, The guy that asked was not convinced that I was telling the truth because he told me that he asked someone if they were Chingy, they said that they weren't and it ended up that it was Chingy. I swore to God I wasn't Perez and told him I swear to God only when it is the truth (which it was the truth). He told me a lot of people in the club were wondering if I was Perez, and then He left still skeptical and believing that I was Perez.
So some people @ Magnolia in Pasadena now believe they were partying with the likes of the shit talking, bad rapping Perez Hilton.
So now the question: Do I look like Perez Hilton?
-Edwin
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| La Conquista |
[16 Nov 2007|12:28pm] |
Today, November 16th, 2007 at 7:00-9:00pm I will be having my Art Closing at Pitzer College.
1050 N. Mills Avenue
Claremont, CA 91711
Park in the East Mesa Parking lot.
The show is in the Salathe Gallery (Located downstairs in McConnell)
Hope to see you there lovelies!
Much Love,
Edwin Alexis
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[23 Sep 2007|10:46pm] |
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mood |
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nostalgic |
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music |
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Oceanlab-"Satellite (Above & Beyond Remix)" |
] |
My love is like footsteps in the snow, baby,
I follow you everywhere you go, baby.
The pain as light has come to wake you
But you will never realize
That I inspire the dreams that guide you baby.
I follow the winds that bring the cold, baby,
I light a fire in your soul, baby.
The lightest touch of feathers falling
My love may be invisible
But I inspire the dreams that guide you, baby
You're a half a world away
But in my mind I whisper every single word you say.
And before you sleep at night
You pray to me, your lucky star, your singing satellite.
Your singing satellite
You say a prayer
You say a prayer
You're a half a world away
But in my mind I whisper every single word you say.
And before you sleep at night
You pray to me, your lucky star, your singing satellite.
I follow the winds that bring the cold, baby,
I light a fire in your soul, baby.
The lightest touch of feathers falling
My love may be invisible
But I inspire the dreams that guide you, baby
You're a half a world away
But in my mind I whisper every single word you say.
And before you sleep at night
You pray to me, your lucky star, your singing satellite.
Todavia quiero a M.A.S. mucho, fui al museo LACMA con el hoy y me estuve recordando todo lo bello que compartimos en un tiempo corto.
Como jode conmigo (amorosamente)
Habia momentos que no lo podia ver porque era tan doloroso.
Hay vemos que va pasar.
Mucho Amor,
Edwin Alexis
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[16 Sep 2007|01:31pm] |
My life has been quite strange lately, but definitely good.
A mish mash of human experience that I decided to experience alone for quite some time. I'm scared to let him in because that would mean distraction, and energy loss. I have everything to lose but everything to gain and all I can think about is the losses. He's older, makes good money, cares about his friends and family, but am i ready for this?
I'm 21 years old, and I don't want to let anyone hold my back, after Pitzer is Film School, then Nicaragua, then grad school, and a doctorate program, if I have someone depending on me romantically all it does is is mix-up my priorities and shift what I want/feel/need/love.
We'll see how this all pans out, we are going to Cirque Du Soleil Corteo when it comes to town.
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| En estas palabras encuentro historias que yo conozco muy bien. |
[14 Sep 2007|08:05pm] |
Enfermo llegué
y para componerme ando de vago
No me des tu obediencia
por que te enseño mi cuerpo de lobo
a donde la piel estuvo debil
con una hambre que no me deja cantar
En mi vida,
el oscuro me mantiene
cuando yo te vi
en la lluvia me prometistes tu sangre
Yo no me quedo en mi vida
el oscuro me mantiene
cuando yo te vi
en la lluvia me prometistes tu sangre
yo no me quedo
Y ya que caiste de este mundo
cargo una navaja
dios mio
para ti
Cuantas veces me mordiste
y cuantas veces yo me fui
Y ya no me estoy enamorado
con tus mentiras
el infierno me duermo
por que el infierno es la unica verdad
En mi vida,
el oscuro me mantiene
cuando yo te vi
en la lluvia me prometistes tu sangre
Yo no me quedo en mi vida
el oscuro me mantine
cuando yo te vi
en la lluvia me prometistes tu sangre
yo no me quedo
Estrella de la mañana
Ismael te persigo a ti
y si me quedo sin alas
ademas me muero por ti
Estrella de la mañana
Ismael te persigo a ti
y si me quedo sin alas
ademas me muero por ti
Estrella de la mañana
Ismael te persigo a ti
y si me quedo sin alas
ademas me muero por ti
Estrella de la mañana
Ismael te persigo a ti
y si me quedo sin alas
ademas me muero por ti
Estrella de la mañana
Ismael te persigo a ti
y si me quedo sin alas
ademas me muero por ti
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[17 Jul 2007|07:14pm] |
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music |
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Stars of Track and Field - "With You" |
] |
Ideas I've been pondering:
Champagne taste for beer budgets
Broken Love Cycle
The summer every single star died
Transexual Prostitutes of Managua
Have yet to meet my equal
You aren't safe with drunk straight boys
My skills in predicting things is uncanny
I've dreamt of my daughter before (she's beautiful)
Love does exist
People are funny
People will do everything in their power to take your power away
Life usually irons itself (Thank God! I hate ironing!)
Children don't know any better.
Laugh at yourself
Embrace imperfection
Erase everything that hurts
If you remove yourself from certain situations, then no one can push your buttons
Thank all of your automatic functions! (without them you would be dead)
Forgive others
More importantly forgive yourself
Remember that in the end it is not what you owned, it is what kind of person you were
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| MMA Group and Plans |
[12 Jul 2007|12:58am] |
So I know I've been M.I.A. For the last couple of weeks, I've been working very hard at this Marketing Agency called MMA Group as a Design Temp. They do some huge event and creative planning for multi billion dollar companies. So basically I help them throw posh parties that I can attend. They work with Gwen and Harajuku lover which always makes me giggle like a japanese school girl when I think of it! In the works at the moment I am designing the Flyers for Courtney Love's First concert in 10 years which is awesome! My boss is a heartless bitch, at times she makes me have that sinking feeling like when you are in a car accident and it is your fault.
It's quite high pressure and honestly I'm happy it is just for the summer, this is way too hard on this Nicaraguan heart, but maybe after I graduate I will go back and try for a permanent position.
Check out their site: mmagroup.biz
I have this plan starting:
2008: Graduate from Pitzer (Art & Media Studies), Go to Film School
2009: Graduate from Film School, Live in Nicaragua for a year and continue my documentary series
2010: Grad School (Antioch University - Seattle) Art Therapy Program
2010-?: Move to Silverlake/Hollywood/Santa Monica, Open my own cafe (concept will remain private until I open it), Start on feature length film to be submitted to Cannes and Sundance
2015: Open my own Art Therapy/Video Non-Profit
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| Colour |
[11 Jul 2007|03:04am] |
I'm alone with you so far
It doesn't matter where you are
I want to wash up on your shore
More beauty then i've seen before no secret lover
Will ever take the place of you
Colour me blue
As you
I want to see you yesterday
The little things in your way
It's in your eyes i realize
The parallels of our disguise
No single other
Can understand my point of view
Colour me blue
as you
Colour me blue
As you
With you now i've come to find
That my love for you was blind
Was it the depths of your sea
That pulled me from you
Or you from me
I want to see you yesterday
The little things in your way
Your happiness and sorrow too
They only come in shades of blue
But no other colour
Could give off quite a hue
Colour me blue
As you
Colour me blue
As you
Colour me blue
As you
Colour me blue
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| Can't Sleep |
[05 Jul 2007|03:21am] |
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mood |
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pensive |
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4.30 A.M, I'm awake again
Singing to the dark through open eyes
While dreaming I see only you and me
Stuck between desire and compromise
If I said I want you back I'd be a liar
There's nothing left of us to long for anymore
But inside the ashes burns an endless fire
And every night I can't help reaching out for more
And I can't sleep... You're so far away from me
And I can't sleep... And I can't sleep
And I can't sleep... You're so far away from me
And I can't sleep... And I can't sleep
You're leaving me scars scattered in my heart
A road map of all the places you have been
And I can't escape, can't wash this away
Love has burned your mark so deep within
If I said I want you back I'd be a liar
There's nothing left of us to long for anymore
But inside the ashes burns an endless fire
And every night I can't help reaching out for more
And I can't sleep... You're so far away from me
And I can't sleep... And I can't sleep
And I can't sleep... You're so far away from me
And I can't sleep... And I can't sleep
And I can't sleep... You're so far away from me
And I can't sleep... And I can't sleep
And I can't sleep... You're so far away from me
And I can't sleep... And I can't sleep
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[01 Jul 2007|01:06am] |
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I'm afraid for you, and I pray to God you are okay.
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